Well Hello there!. I’d like to welcome you to…….wait….what are you staring at? Oh, you’ve never seen a woman with a long pointed nose, beady red eyes, claws for fingernails, a hunch on her back, and pointy teeth,….and a beard? OK! OK!, I may be a witch, but I also have a name. It’s Stacy. And I’d like to officially welcome you to Stacy’s Corner. I greet you with out-stretched arms,…yes, I know they are abnormally hairy and wart infested! (Thanks for reminding me) I greet you with out-stretched arms and a warm heart. yes I DO have one! Here at Stacey’s Corner I would love to share some wisdom that I have collected throughout the years..….what’s that you say? No I haven’t been around for infinity years! I’m 37!…..Excuse me, now where was I?….oh yes..Here at Stacy’s Corner I hope to shed light on some of life’s little inquiry’s. Everything from problems with your children to how to breathe life back into a failing garden….what’s that you say?….you wish I would stop breathing because my breath smells like an old diaper that your uncle found on the beach?…nice…real mature! Anyway, come on in…sit back…pull up a broom, and stay a spell whilst I cast my knowledge…….What? Yes, my neighbor is a baker why do you ask?.. Because those are SWEET ROLLS on my eyelids? OK..I get it! I am hideous! Let’s ALL make fun of the UGLY WITCH!
Well friends, it looks like that’s all the time we have today in Stacy’s corner. Join me tomorrow when I bring my beautiful daughter Rapunzel on the show to delight us with a lovely ballad…what?…you’ve heard my delectable flower sing before? You thought it sounded like a wolf being trampled by a horse? THAT’S IT!!!! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! I tried to be nice but you leave me no choice!!!! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!!! MAY YOUR FAMILY TREE ALWAYS BE A BARREN ONE!!!!!!!!!!! WHA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!
P.S. Don’t ever never EVER mess around with my greens! Especially the BEANS!!!
P.P.S If you want more nuggets of wisdom from Stacy, or if you would like to view the freak show that is her face, join us at Early Light Academy in March for Into the Woods!
Jill Bearden (AKA the Witch… AKA Stacy)